Inside out

I haven’t been for a while, maybe cause I get to think that every time that I uaed this window
It’s because I’m crumbling again, I’m falling apart and someone or something has got 
Into my bones or crash into my face. Maybe release that it’s not actually bad at all
I made a promise to my very your but beautiful last pet.
She taught me so much in so few time we could spent together, she reconnect me with
My feelings with love, she made me understand that maybe I lost
Perspective in this hunger of success, or in make happiness posible,
But not any happiness, just the one I’ve got in my mind and the one I wanted for me
And that proves me that even when you think you’re not thinking about yourself
And you’re finally able to be caring, that hard, selfish and very primitive
Feeling that it’s inside of us, and just make us think about ourselves never leaves 

This year I’m learning how to leave my selfie as aside and I can finally be truly honest 
About how I feel, what u think and how do I stand in this world.
Life has taught me throug rough and sour, and every time I’m getting back in my feet or maybe
More than that, it finds the time to remember me that I don’t have to loose track

I’m sort in front of this window that it’s about to open, and when it does I might get the
 Chance to finally make some hard desitions and also make the changes I’ve been thinking 
To do in my life.

I’m ansius but calm, tired but also power with this uncertainty 

Let’s hope it’s for the best
See you later

whenlo_veisgo ne

I forgot how many time you’d broke my heart, 
I forgot how many times I’ve thinking about all this and cry
I cannot tell how many different ways I’ve think all of this
I do not know how express how unfair this is 
Cause you never gave me a chance to share 
Cause you never let me in
Just close to the edge, so anytime you want you’d closed the door
Right at my face
Right in my heart

You broke me, once again you did it. 
And in a brand new way that I never thought someone has ever done
You broke my hope,
You broke my strength to fight, you broke my confidence
You took my self esteem and make me feel like a piece of shit
And worst of all, you treat my love like shit

You never appreciated it
You never respected it
You never cared about it

So this is it. I have nothing, I gave everything and I lose it all
I don’t regret, cause I’d really thought this’d end differently
Guess not. Guess you were right after all
I was just seeing something that never was there

I really hope you’re choices are good, and really wish you well, 
I loved you, I cannot do different.
But if life’s gave you a lesson in the future, just be certain that you lose
And it was something bigger than anything you ever thought

Goodbye 🤖

over_

tonight it's the last time you broke my heart. Tonight it's the last time I feel like shit because of you
Tonight it's the day when I swear to myself that I'm gonna end this, cause you don't deserve any of
My affection, cause you don't worth the price, the sacrifices and the pain I've been suffering for the last year. Cause you never got it. You never respect me or even less the feeling that I had. You use me so you won't feel alone, cause you showed me your worst, you showed me how selfish, unaffective and caring less you can be. Cause you're so self focus in what you want that you just commit to one person, and that's why you'll never gonna have truly deep friends, cause you don't know how to keep them. You don't know how to care about them, you don't know how to make sacrifices for them.
Cause you don't know a shit about love. You're so worriend about you're selfish love that you don't know how deep that feeling is. You think that you're love is deep?, bullshit, you haven't sanctify a single tiny thing for love, you just know the easy, self Center and shallow love, that one that comes easy and then goes, yes sure it can last a lot and you can have an amazing ride. But when it ends -cause mostly it'll ends- you feel the space, and you don't get how to full it. Cause it's so unbarabke that it kills you and it hurts so bad that you cannot breath, sleep, eat.
Cause that's how I'm feeling right now, I'm dying my stomach hurts so bad my heart hurts so bad. Cause I can stand, I can't resist to see you with another dude. And it's nothingn about him for god sake understand that. It's because YOU NEVER GIVE A SHIT ABOUT ME
You never respect my process, you never respect my feelings, and even worse you never cared!
And that's the worst part, cause at the end, you showed me that I can't love again, but you also break my heart countless times and showed me that most of people doesn't deserve my love
You don't deserve it, you don't deserve me, and for sure you don't deserve my friendship.
I can't be around someone who kills me so many times
You felt this, you were here, and this showed me that you don't learnt a thing.
Unfortunately when you learnt this lesson y
I won't be around. And it won't matter. Cause it's too late, cause it doesn't matter when you learnt so late and cause you have to learn to live with your mistakes and feeling that you're a mediocre friend
Thank you, for showed me that I can't live again, and thank you for killing me again.
At the end of this year I got nothing, I'm worse that when I started and my stomach it's hurt. Cause it realise that it's not as affective as we thought.

0/100_KO

[mute]

Tonight I actually don't have a plan or a single thing to throw it out. Tonight I'm actually doing the exercise of just tipping all what I have inside, cause even when a whole huge chapter of my life is over, and I'll never know why it ended this way, in more than certain that if it was this way was because matters, because affects you and also because you weren't good enough to deal with it. Cause you don't have the balls to face it. And because you were so afraid of all that you rather hide in you hole again. I'm not sad, I'm not angry, I'm just sorry that you chose that path to deal with problems in your life.
But this is not what moves me now, it also isn't what makes me feel this way. It's something different. That's been killing or make my world insane for months, and it's something that I'm getting pretty sure I'm not able to control. Cause you little bastard that randomness putted in front of me, you did the two most strongest things I've been dealing in a while, you bring me back to life and remind me that I can be able to feel this way again. But you also kill me, cause you didn't appreciate my feelings and kill each and anyone at a time. You didn't realise and respect how strong it's all I feel about you and you weren't ever honest with me to tells me how you really feel about me. You kill my self confidence and never even give me a chance. Dude how difficult is for you to see that I LOVE YOU, I really do, and mine isn't a stupid thing some childish shit that you get another guy and rapidly forget.  Dude I love you so bad that it hurts, it kills me to see that you have other and I can even be with you, it kills me not seing you for a while. I miss you smell, that stupid smile and those eyes that are so honest when they want to. It kills me to see from your acts that you don't feel the same about me and It also kills me that you don't let me go. Cause it breaks my heart to leave you. I've been killing my ass trying to do it and I can't. I really want that you'd be happy... even if that one it's not me. But I can't I want you I miss you and I fucking need you. I'm so sure that Boone would ever loved you the way I do. And it really kills me that you don't even give a shit.
I've got kick you out
I've got you let you go
I can't share you with another asshole that ironically has my same name
I can't, this is killing me
And you don't know how much
And you will never know
Cause you don't care
Cause I can tell you
Cause even when with my love it's enough for both of us. You wouldn't let me
I'm sorry pal
I'm not that good I guess
I can keep this any longer
I'm out.-

delu_sion

_those days when after all i've been through i'm still learning that you don't know that well people, and everytime you can have surprises, cause loyalty isn't a value these days, and it's almost impossible to find true friends. i thought i know you i thought we have some special no unresolve bond that you and i share and no one else. but guess what bullshit you're as basic and stupid as all the rest. you get to be controlled but some basic stuff and all the integrity and good things that i thought you have are falling off, apparently you're as dark with at work as the rest of these people. i'm so disappointed because i thought that you were such a good value. true, honest and sincere.
well you lost me, and beleive me, you'll realize it. but by then i'll be too late.