_thsc's blog

all I_need.

today it's hard for me to write, cause after almost 10 months of silence, this feeling bring me back to here, the only place when i can speak freely and trying to calm my mind... but this post it's different cause i took the decision that I'll share it with you, cause sometimes part of this words came after spending time with you or things that we've going through, today i need you i need my friend, cause you're almost my partner cause i don't trust as much as i trust in you with anyone. but you're not around... and its so sad to realize that if i don't reach you, you're not here for me, its so sad to see that even if i don't speak to you there's tons of things that i want to tell you about, there's so much that i want to share with you, but i don't have any news from you.
I'm not part of your life, you don't remember me or maybe you do but you don't miss to spend time with me... when i think this stuff it makes me feel so alone, that it hurts... cause anything that I've done worth a penny, cause i didn't built anything in you so you can miss me, everything its more important than me and everything deserves a spot in your time more than me...
and i can't speak with you about this, cause when i do you stop me with a wall of protection, that i can't break, you always crush me with these words that sound so cold and so unyou that i can't believe...
is it bad to need you? i mean you're my friend, why can't i need my friends support? is it so difficult for you to be my friend? is it bad, does make it bad to take care of me, or show how you care about me? does that make you less?
i don't think so, but every time that i have to work myself through the mission that is for me to set up a meeting or having the luckiest day and sync in time to talk some on wassap or by phone...it makes me so tired, and its so few... i don't ask for much but once in a while isn't bad that you do want to meet me, that you call me asking me where we can catch, or you setting every thing's up so we can finally make the appointment... and you know that this isn't a matter of money or distance...it's just a matter of will. it's a matter of want. cause the rest it's just excuses.
this probably isn't a issue for you, or don't take more than 5 minutes to think about... but today i really need you, and if i don't reach you, you're not there for me... and that simple matter.. hurts and a lot.

I've got to do something... cause its even harder if i don't took it out of me... i hope you can try at least to understand me.

" I only stick with you
Because there are no others

You are all I need
You're all I need
I'm in the middle your picture
Lying in the reeds

It's all wrong
It's all right
It's all wrong"