_don'tevennameit

this is going anywhere, im' just loosing track... i'm in those days when you don't know what is gonna be next, i wish that uncerntaintly is because i'm sharing my path, but the truth is that i'm alone, and i'm starting to feeling that, more than ever, i hate to feel that i can't choose my friends, i mean i don't have troubles with have a few but good friends. but to feel betraded by them... it's just even worst. and there's also you... the first person who made me shut up just beacause you look at me. the person that move my whole world into you, cause now, anything makes sence if you're not there, if i can't tell you, if you can be a part of my life, my real life, but not like now, i want to know that you want to be part of this... share my world, its so difficult this for me, cause in the same way that this is growing in me, it grows this feel of scared to see you leave. i hate weekends, i don't want that friday comes, cause i know, that till monday i can heard at least a word from you!... first weeks, was easy but now its getting difficult, and i'm feeling that i'm loosing this, that in some way, this is just something that I'M living, that I'M living... but isn't the same way for you, but you aprecciate me, so you don0t want to hurt me tell me, that that dream is never gonna be truth. that unfurtunatly for me. our relations is gonna be like this... and nothing more, damn it i want to rapt you so bad, bring you here with me, to my place, and have days to be with you without any university stuff that broke my plans, any phone calls that makes me feel that i'm a dump guy who thinks that is gonna be more that this virtual friend, don't missunderstood me, i'm not saying that i don't want to be that friend... i really do ... but also is unfair to feel this way, and don't have any clue if there's some at least bit response on the other side...
and i don't have the guts to tell you that stay this weekend, cause i know the answer. cause deep inside of me i know that you're not going to stay because of me next weekend, and leave him alone... and i'm so afraid to hear those words from you, that i preffer to shut the fuck up, and just sink with all this inside of me, and just get deeper and deeper... cause that's what it's happening, i tide a huge rock in my feets jump into the sea, and go down, waiting that before i can't see the light. you're gonna come and pull me up, pull me back into a real world, cause virtual is not enought for me. and it never will be. i want real things real time...
i really don't know where this is gonna take me. i just wish i can figure it out, before it vanish me

trying to put words, about what i feel in my stomach.
regards for those who spend their time reading this crap.


[interstate lovesong - stone temple pilots ]