_jump

I've been trying to write again ... but i guess that it's getting harder cause
the more that i think about this, more sure that i am about what i want to do.
you are always telling me good things and keeping my hope up... but on the other side there's some signs or things that you do that i don't get it... you never call me not even once... and i'm starting to think that if i don't make the contact... you'll never call me back...
so what's the point in this... should i keep trying, or just give up
cause i need more from you, i now that i'm not in position to demand anything... and that is the reason why i will never tell you this, this is my space, the only one where i can be honest, at least with me... just start to give something to fight for, i can't keep fighting like this, please, just give me the right and start to take care of me, cause i really need you here! i can't just be happy when you tell me " i'm just leaving for a couple of days" thatis not fair, cause the first thing that you think after your finish your exams is him, not me , you'll never think to call me and ask me when we can meet?, i mean you promess me that, ahg this is so stupid, why i just don't stop this now, and never speak you again, i guess that i would hurt less if i do that than realise that you just like to have me near to keep you up, to be like your support when him is not around.
cause i envy him so much, cause even when he's far away more than me... he catch you so good, that i can't anything of that.. look i'm not the ego-guys who can deal with this cause they lnow that they're handsome smart and popular... at all, i'm just a regular guy who feels that he founds the one, but that only one person is already in something.. so pretty much i'm screw and i have to take all my sentiments and eat it cause they'll never gonna have an answer like i want to.
well i guess that i very far trip, wouldn't be bad at all...
just please if you have any consideration in me... please just lets make this straight
can you?, i'm ready to jump... even if that is for good or bad... but just let me jump.


[mute]

_thsc